1965
Today wasn't too bad. It just got bad, though. The T.V. broke!! Baw! The Os won't be home until about eleven and it's about 9 now. Ahhh! I'm going to go crazy. Mom stopped over to talk to me this afternoon and just sent over a newspaper and some food. I'm going to record my poem in my diary. I'm not going to tell anyone in my family about it, either.
Malcolm X got killed today. It was horrible, from what I heard.
1979
Back to school after months, it seems. My TEXT 447 exam, which should have been last week, now won’t be until Monday, if it doesn’t snow again. I am miserably behind on my own course work, especially my independent study. Tomorrow and Friday are shot, so I am hoping the campus library reopens this weekend. Falling behind is irritating. And even humiliating. My self-control should be stronger by now. I have stopped watching soap operas, but now I play Atari too much.
1980
An unusual Thursday, in that I actually accomplished everything I set out to do except return a couple of library books that aren’t due for three months. So: a very productive day. Also a lovely day, sunny and nearly 60 degrees. I feel more settled in my dissertation, too. Maybe it’s the nice weather. Must get as much done as possible before hay fever season hits.
1997
Hmmm. I’m reading old letters from Juan and from Jim. I was so overwhelmed by Juan’s feelings. It was so fortunate that I left Mexico just a week after he proposed. A long-distance relationship, is all I could possibly handle at seventeen.
About decisions I have made. I have, in fact, only made a few in my adult life.
Choosing my major: Medium risk, low confidence, ok outcome
Declaring my feelings for Jim: high risk, high confidence, excellent outcome
Going for my MS degree: medium risk, low confidence, excellent outcome
Moving to Maryland: low risk, medium confidence, excellent outcome
Going for my PhD: medium risk, high confidence, good outcome. I could have done better work
Becoming a parent: high risk, medium confidence, awesome experience in every way
Going into administration: medium risk, medium confidence, excellent outcome (personal growth, though at a cost)
Writing the (dead) book: low perceived risk (actually high), low confidence, BAD outcome
Peak experiences: Jim, move to Maryland, parenthood, going into administration
Comment 2023
My main takeaway from the 1997 analysis of my major life decisions is my increasing confidence. My main takeaway from the 1965 entry is that I wasn’t totally oblivious to national events. The juxtaposition of my babysitting woes and Malcolm X’s assassination is jarring, however.
2002
The folly of Five Year Plans, for your edification and amusement.
2008
The paradox: I say I want simplicity, but then I proceed to cook up complicated ways of doing things.
The university honors director position is open and two years ago I would have jumped at it. Today I got the description and promptly deleted it. When I finished my sabbatical proposal, I realized that all but 6 of the last 28 years have involved administration. I was shocked. Yes, that is something I am good at. But my solitary work has suffered. Worse, while administration gives the illusion of accomplishment, in the end it’s all ephemeral. I build one sand castle after another and a couple of years after I move on to the next administrative job, the new person has swept it away and built their own. If I’d used the time to write and do research, I’d have been a full professor ten years ago, and I would probably be $100,000 ahead.
Ouch.
2024
I missed Bruce Springsteen back in the 70s. Despite the promise made by teenage me to never lose touch with popular music, by the mid-seventies I was as clueless as my parents about what the kids were listening to. It wasn’t until 2015 (!) that I heard “Born to Run”, as I pulled together a playlist for a research methods class focusing on 1975. For the last three days, I have been alternating between reading “Deliver Me from Nowhere: The Making of Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska” by Warren Zanes and listening to the 1982 album. (Of course, he had me at the title.) I have no idea what 33-year-old Jo would have thought about it, but 74-year-old Jo thinks it’s amazing. Isn’t technology great? We have millions of songs, books, movies, and images waiting for us to explore and discover. So cool.
Thanks to music videos I reconnected with pop music in the 1980's and stayed so more or less until the late 1990's. Since then I have been focused more on recordings from the 1950's and 60's. I can barely relate to what is popular today. It doesn't move me.