1978
The pollen is flying today! I think my nose is going to fall off, if my head doesn’t go first.
Connie and Jack left today after a 10-day visit. (Thus the gap in my journal.) It was very relaxed. Connie is on the verge of job hunting, which is never fun, and has having 2nd and third thoughts about her course of study. (How very familiar.)
Connie thought Grease was better than Animal House. Amazing. She found AH too “slapstick”, not very funny. I nearly died laughing when I saw it. But then, we did go to college at different time. But she found that book about sex (The Dieter’s Guide to Sex, I think) very funny. Convulsions, practically. I thought it was mildly amusing.
Note: Friends can have different senses of humor. Bad guys have no sense of humor.
1983
Some of the time, being a mother is an exhilarating, marvelous experience. It can be like opening one present after another. Sometimes, like today, it is like being in prison. Jim is sick. We were going to go to the pool and have friends over for dinner. Instead, I have had two days of childcare and housework, the only kind of work I can do right now. It’s not their fault; I feel myself growing meaner inside. The two main problems are:
1) I have gotten no coursework done
2) I know that if Kiddo catches whatever Jim has, there goes the week.
How exhausting, how frustrating. How temporary, I know, but cannot feel.
1986
I’m really struggling to get into the fall routine after a whole summer of setting my own schedule. I’m least ready in the historic costume collection, but will no doubt manage to get my head above water within 2-3 weeks. The tenure packet has to get done, and I’ve really been dragging on it. Jimminey. (And what I’d really like to do is go back to sleep for 6 or 8 hours, and that’s without taking an antihistamine!)
1997
I found today’s Simple Abundance reading, about being “called” (or hearing the call) fascinating and unsettling. My problem is too many “calls”. I have lots of seemingly great ideas that hit me, bowl me over, occupy me for an instant and then evaporate. I just don’t know which ideas to try to hang on to.
I know I need to worry less about Kiddo 1. My attachment to her is an obsession at times. I want to know her every thought. Frankly it’s sick and scary. My parents mostly let me just live my life, at that age. Of course, I interpreted that as not caring, and have tried to be more involved with my kids. But it seems clear that I have hovered too much and too long.
2008
Another sort of walk about. Kiddo 2 had a doctor’s appointment this morning and wanted me to come, so I did. I’ve also gotten sucked into the political news. Watching CNN, MSNBC, and Fox is way too much like picking a scab.
I am supposed to be planning the “boys” chapter in my head, if there’s room in there.
2017
Today is Monday
I woke up around 7:30, had breakfast and did the usual habitual things on my iPad, then took a walk while listening to an 18-minute Tara Brach meditation. Now I am facing west and listening to my “Thoughtful” playlist. First up: Eric Whitacre’s “I thank you, God”. Perfect. About 90 minutes.
In my pocket: call airline. Call doctor. Start developing questions for my reunions.
Tarot: VIII Justice “Things are happening as they should.” I assume that means personally. In the nation, in the world, things are not at all “as they should”. At least, I hope not.
2023
It’s been a long, hot summer, and the coming week promises even more: high 90s as far as the forecasters can see. It’s also been a summer of learning how to say goodbye. When we first moved to this retirement community, we knew only a few people. When every week there would be a few names in the “In Memorium” box in the newsletter, we would note the number, but not the names. Three years along, we know people - lots of them. So in recent months, there have been familiar names: new friends, people we were just beginning to know. Added to that, we have lost two good friends on the “outside”. This is part of what it is to be 74.
Years ago, one of my kids complained about the number of baby showers they had to attend. Just wait, I said. The day will come when you long for a baby shower. Today, I’m there.
Update on the knitting quandary from yesterday: I started a new project in time for church, and finished another during Masterpiece Theater. This completes the scarf, hat and mitts from the skein of rainbow yarn my friend gave me.
You are so prolific in so many ways! Love your energy and creativity! Love being able to call you friend!!