September 29
No, you can not have two Mondays in a row.
1981
I’m starting to feel pregnant. I figure I’ll be due between May 29 and June 11. Oh boy!! I have been playing with floor plans for the little room. We need more bookcases, and moving all the books to a single wall. Jim refuses to get rid of any books or put any books in storage. We’ll need dressers for ourselves, another file cabinet and a desk top for a new work area in the living room. Then a crib and changing table. We can use Jim’s old dresser in the baby’s room.
I had better get to work!
1982
The Costume Society Meeting went very well. There was a good response to my paper, and Richard Martin’s introduction warmed me to my toes. He described my work as ICONOCLASTIC (!!!!!!) That seems apt, though I never thought of it that way. I realized that he had actually read some of my work. Amazing.
My god, I have a reputation.
Comment 2024
This was a very big deal, because Richard Martin was an extremely big deal.
1985
A very, very long day. After church and an afternoon at the office, we headed up to Baltimore to see Sesame Street Live - - actors in Muppet suits. We had truly awful seats, way in the back at the sides. But Kiddo and her friend had a great time, the mommies and daddies enjoyed talking with each other. We went to dinner after and didn’t leave until after 9 PM. Kiddo is conked out, and I am close to it. This is turning into one terrific year, in a way. My confidence level is up at work. Now if I could only find/make time to clean the house!)
1986
Today was the pits. We went to Largo to deliver the rent check, which Mom finally signed. Being at Largo and having to talk to people really upset her. I think it took most of her energy and resolve. After that she was MUCH worse. We got into a verbal hassle over insurance after I tried to find out about her coverage. She asked to know, since she overheard the phone conversation (mistake #1). So I tried to explain it to her (mistake #2). After that I got into a frenzy of phone calling, hoping to find a solution to a situation that was rapidly growing worse. Medicaid, PCS coverage..it gradually dawned on me (and Mom, I think) that our alternatives were very few.
1) she can stay with us, on medication, which might take weeks or months to kick in.
2) she can go back to the hospital and take more ECT treatments, which might take less time, but costs $250/day, plus OR fees.
3) she can go to a state-run long term facility and be on medication, which might take weeks or months , but cost less and be less stress on me and the family.
Mom is adamant about taking ECT. I don’t blame her. I do not have the emotional or physical resources to have her here under these circumstances for more than a week. That’s a hard thing to admit. I wish he did have the money to hire someone to take the load off me. It’s money we just don’t have. Jim is starting to work overtime. Kiddo has been weathering it well, but how long will that last? And I have a new life inside me that must be protected. I woke up from a nap today knowing that she can’t stay here, and wishing I felt differently. What I really want is a miracle cure. I want to wake up tomorrow and find her downstairs, cheerful and smiling.
This afternoon she was so distraught that she tried to walk out the door twice. Not seriously, in a way. Her feet are bothering her, so she would not have gotten far. I’m afraid I lost my cool after that, got upset and angry with her. Her constant negative comments about my housekeeping really get to me. It’s been a stream of criticism: I’m a bad mother, a terrible housekeeper, the doctor’s pawn.
Comment 2023
Here is Mom in happier days. I ardently hope that treatment for depression has improved since 1986, because this was a truly awful ordeal for everyone involved.
1988
I am two weeks behind in writing now, but not worried (much)! It took longer to get into the semester than I expected, and it was unavoidable. Now things are settling in better and I’m not as frazzled. Today push finally came to shove at home - - kitchen was filthy, paper all over the desk and the disk too full to write on. So while I am backing up sections of the book, I’ve attacked the paper flurry. So far, so good.
1997
A long and busy day, mostly errands, and little mind-work. So I have been drowsing in the waiting room, waiting for the next door to open.
2014
Nine of wands, reverse. I am run down and I need to restore my energy.
Gee, thanks for the insight!
Also, my back is killing me.
After a long day, I am not sure AMST498B is working.
2017
I need to complete the church auction donations: Memorial Service Mad Libs and the Colorforms set. I am wearing my Pals Bewery T-shirt.
2020 (Still on the eastbound train)
No, you can not have two Mondays in a row.
2021
Chapter 2, revisited. There’s a lot of good stuff here, especially about puberty and the first years of adolescence. The shift to post high school and college needs to be more of a clear section break. Maybe return to Seventeen and other magazines for August-September 1967? Mademoiselle, Cosmopolitan? This chapter is a very rough draft, not even a complete draft yet. What’s missing?
2023
Writing can be such a puzzle. Now I am back to Chapter 1 again, or what used to be Chapter 1. Now I think it might be the last essay in the book, or book-like thing I am writing. Let’s call it “creative nonfiction”, which has a nice ring to it.
2024
This book thing is finally taking shape and even gaining momentum. So are my two carefully chosen knitting projects. (A Maryland colors hat and a pair of worsted socks, with the first heel ready to turn.)
