September 2
“She removes herself from other people’s ideas of what she should do. She puts boundaries around herself to gain some much-needed perspective or space.”
1979
I don’t suppose I’ll ever stop looking at myself in the mirror. It isn’t so much vanity as reassurance. I really am not that bad-looking. Not a great beauty. But it’s a healthy, honest face, the same one that’s been looking back at me since childhood. The round-ball nose, the smile that obliterates my cheekbones. How many people have so many facial shapes? There’s my serious oblong, my oval resting face, my angular profile, my round smiling face.
A familiar face in the mirror is so comforting. Still me!
1981
Reasons for not becoming a U.S. Senator
Fear of assassination
not being a U.S. citizen
having to live in Washington
fear of FBI stings
fear of Mike Wallace
not a steady job
can’t pass the business on to the kids
too much aggravation
have to wear a suit every day
can’t act silly in public
1985
Classes start tomorrow. This marks my tenth fall as a teacher. Is it getting old? Am I getting stale? Well, maybe a bit. The jolt of fear/adrenalin doesn’t hit me as hard. I no longer spend as much time preparing. But I still enjoy it. I still want them to enjoy the subject and learn something about themselves and doing research. I don’t want to be just a forgotten class on their transcript. I do need to liven up more, not be so shy/uptight.
1986
It’s been a week now since Mom was admitted, and her depression has gotten worse, except for a couple of days when she seemed a little better. Not consecutive days, either. I did see her psychiatrist yesterday, who was very optimistic. Good thing, too, because last night Mom was worse again. She is so worried, so helpless, so withdrawn. I couldn’t reach her at all.
At least things are going well at home. Kiddo has been acting up a little, but I think that’s half being 4 1/2 and half being bored after a week at home. School starts today for both of us.
The baby has been moving around more since I stopped taking antihistamines. I hate taking them because I am not sure what effect they have on him. Certainly they seem to reduce his movements; maybe making him lethargic? So I’ll do without whenever possible. Just three more months…the whole semester… and we’ll be a family of four. Heavens. Good thing it’s not sooner. I’m hardly ready.
1998
I only want two things this year. (For me the year begins in September.) First, I want to write again, the way I used to. Easy and lucid, flowing from the mind and heart. Second, I want to have less physical pain.
The kids started school yesterday. Kiddo 2 had mixed feelings, since lunch was chaotic and he actually got homework on the first day. Kiddo one seemed pleased, haven't gotten all her classes but one (Chinese). Instead, she got placed in a Tech Ed class with one of her nemesis teachers from freshman year. So she’ll change, possibly adding another music or another language. What an amazing kid! I hope she gets what she hungers for – – whatever that is.
2017
Today is Saturday.
To do: auction item, 2-way mirror, laundry, trash.
Tarot: 4 of Swords. The image is very appealing: a woman meditating in a pyramid.
“She removes herself from other people’s ideas of what she should do. She puts boundaries around herself to gain some much-needed perspective or space.”
(And I smiled…)
Comment 2023
Yes, I am an introvert. Coffee hour at church wears me out. Meetings exhaust me. Large multi-day conferences must include naps. I do enjoy good conversations, meals with a few friends, beers with buddies. Long train trips with a book in my ear.
2024
I don’t remember the Paralympics being covered quite so extensively before, and I approve.