September 1

I want to savor this day, the beginning of the school year. So I need to pay attention to it.

1981

When will I know? I want to be pregnant!

1984

Here I am again, under the tree by the sandbox. Kiddo and Ruth are playing together. Ruth interrupts me more often than Kiddo does; is that being three or being Ruth? I guess I will find out in a year.

Jim and I had a short heart-to-heart about having a second child last night. He is generally negative. I am mostly negative. If only I could get over the sense of failure if we stop at one. There are people who manage to have two - or more - and have some kind of career. But am That kind of person? Why does it bother me if I am not? Is it because I want to succeed at everything, excel in everything I try? In which case… why not excel at parenting one child? Is parental excellence quantitative? (Parents of two are better than parents of one, etc.)

Or do I want to have two because I actually want more children and I wish I were organized/patient/sane enough to handle two? 

1991

 A very pleasant, nearly autumn-y day! We got up and bustled off to IKEA with Sandy and Rachel. After a brief but productive shopping foray, we headed to the Maryland Science Center for the afternoon. The big kids were great, Kiddo 2 hardly fussed, the weather was gorgeous. (After a horrible, muggy week.) A-h-h-h-h.

We then spent the evening putting together a chest of drawers and a wardrobe for Kiddo 2’s room. (And another hour putting his stuff away in it.) I am now intent on thinning out more of his toys and books. (Mine, too.) His room is quite small, but would be adequate if he had less stuff. The stuffed animals alone occupy 2 or 3 shelves and drawers.

Somehow I am becoming calmer and less anxious about work. The disequilibrium in the department has been enormously disruptive. Since the department review, I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things just kept getting worse and worse, with no resolution in sight. But now they will be resolved- - somehow -- and I will be out of it at last. Teaching and research is starting to look good again. My main decision is whether to keep my focus on clothing and textiles and move to “consumer affairs” or move to American Studies. If I want to stay at Maryland, American Studies is my most likely location. If I leave campus, it would have to be to another clothing and textiles program, and I have serious misgivings about the long-term viability of such programs.

Comment 2023

Quite a watershed moment! With three degrees in clothing and textiles (a branch of home economics) and seventeen years of teaching (mostly) history of costume, I was faced with the decision to look for another C & T department elsewhere, or stay at the University of Maryland and change departments. There were actually three other potential “homes”, all of which had expressed interest in me. Theater could always use someone to teach basic costuming and the overview course in costume history, but they had a reputation for chewing up their costumers, so I declined. The Family Studies department was interested in the idea of offering a course in the history of childhood, which I could manage, and might also be open to a course on the history of consumption. The School of Bu$ine$$, with it’s fancy new building, saw me as a potential administrator, teaching the occasional course on the history of the fashion and textiles industries, if I insisted. American Studies was familiar; I had taken three of their courses as a PhD student, and knew some of the faculty. It promised a new beginning that would be both exciting and daunting, sort of like being in graduate school again. 

1997

Happy New Year! A day for resolutions and reflections, also a day full of family demands. It began with the newspaper and a light breakfast with Jim, followed by a long aerobic session with Jane Fonda, and then a wonderful shower. The cicadas are making a racket outside; I can hear them through the closed window. My knees ache a bit, though from the workout or just because, I can’t say. I want to savor this day, the beginning of the school year. So I need to pay attention to it. Close attention. On to a day of work performed with love.

2002

Hey, summer is over! It feels like it, too. We have had two cool, rainy days, after the hottest, driest summer in a long time. It was a good summer, productive and relaxing. It would have been more relaxing if I had done the student evaluations back in May. Something to remember next year. It wouldn’t have bought me more time, but it would have given me more psychic space. Psychic space is a good thing.

I am feeling increasingly positive about team teaching with LR this year. Yes, we have different teaching styles. Yes, we’ve had communication problems. I tend to plow ahead and forget to consult people, even though I intend to! L is more protective of her own time and space, and less “improvisational” than I am. But it will work out, and work out well, if we keep in mind, as L pointed out, that we have our students’ best interests at heart.

2004

Oh my. September. Catoctin is a month away. I am glad cool weather is coming; I am certainly ready. I’ll admit to feeling positively befuddled at work right now. I feel distanced from my classes and overwhelmed by the advising stuff.

2017

Today is Friday.

I am falling into a routine with Jim at home, and into new (post retirement) work routine. I would like to have less time between waking and working. Today it was nearly three hours, about half of it on games and social media. Would prefer more meditation and movement.

2023

Ah, September first. My Facebook timeline has been full of back to school photos. My favorite Facebook meme. I am not going back to school yet, but I am prepping a short course that will begin in November. Feels right. For today, writing.

2024

We watched the Leonard Cohen London concert DVD last night. So many favorites, and so well done!

Here’s a good one for today: