November 8
Doom scrolling
1975
A warmish, sunny fall day, after the first hard frost. My head is in constant confusion. So many possible directions - so many things I remind myself to do every week and never do. The thesis proposal is done, I think. The nitty gritty of research looms before me, and that 1/2 done independent study, and my annoyingly busy-work Spanish class. Lack of energy, lack of drive!
Heard Hazel Henderson, the futurist, speak last week and my life hasn’t been the same since. The whole idea of The Future just doesn’t scare me as it used to. And I can see myself fitting into many of the common changes. The whole idea of production by the masses (instead of mass production) and redefining satisfaction is very attractive. It’s certainly not new… it’s a conglomeration of ideas that have been running through my brain since I read my first Alan Watts book. No wonder I felt like such a shit, working in a store selling fancy sheets and towels. No fuckin’ wonder! If I only had more energy, or could use my time better. Goddamn television. There are so few things I really enjoy watching - - MTM, Bob Newhart, All in the Family, Police Story. Medical Story, Berettta, some specials. It’s not lack of time that keeps me from reading; it’s my addiction to that damn box.
Speaking of satisfaction: things I’ve really like to have or do. What would make me happy?
A bath tub A piano A kitchen with usable counter space Go to Barcelona A porch or a deck Cross-country by train! An attic library, with a fat chair, a goodnight, a radio, and stacks of books Cross-country by bus! Something in the garage that works A garage To write a book Cross-country by car! To be interviewed A telescope To see Bob a lot To stay in one place, but travel a lot To take interesting classes To dance
Comment 2023
No bus trip, no Barcelona, don’t see Bob enough, no attic crammed with books, but otherwise, not too shabby. Contented.
2003
Train 91, Car 10, Room 7. On my way to Savannah.
I am not quite sure why I am going to this meeting. It’s been 12 years since my last International Textile and Apparel Association meeting, and I am not sure how many familiar faces I’ll see. So many of my older colleagues are retired or dead. How many of my age mates will be there? I didn’t see many familiar names on the program. But it will give me time to think and write, if nothing else.
Comment 2023
When the Textiles department was eliminated in the early 90s, I stopped attending ITAA. It seemed pointless and sad, and besides, it was at the same time of year at the American Studies Association conference. So this was an odd homecoming. I am thinking of doing the same thing next year with the Costume Society Meeting in DC, only not even registering. Just hanging out in the coffee shop/bar every day and seeing who drops by.
2014
Savoring fine wine/the whining comes tomorrow/ exams are graded #teacherhaiku
2016 - Nada
Comment 2023
I skipped this day in 2016. It was Election Day, and I was not up for anything except doom scrolling, far into the night. According to ChatGPT, the term “doom scrolling” became popular in 2020 during the pandemic, but I was definitely doing it in 2016.
Comment 2024
More doom scrolling. Skipped drawing class for a morning nap, lunch with friends, then another nap, and yet another Indian film this evening.
2017
Today is Wednesday. It is cold and gray, but not rainy like it was yesterday. We had an interesting Tuesday: first trip downtown to meet with Jim’s financial advisor, then lunch at Mike Franklin’s new restaurant in College Park at The Hotel (yes, that’s what it’s called). It was trivia night at Old Line Bistro, so I went and did one bad thing (Haley Joel Osment) and several good things. It was great fun.
According to the Tarot, I no longer need to plan my every move. That may be true, but who’s going to take over the moves that need to be planned?
Comment 2024
Made some new contacts at Costume Society and enjoyed the program, so have penciled in the 2025 meeting in Los Angeles.
2024
Breast biopsy on Monday revealed a tiny bit of DCIS. It’s been a week. Relief was provided by four Indian movies and some good conversation with members of the cancer club. My plan for the coming weeks and months:
Evict anxiety producing news and commentary from my head.
Create more. Write, draw, sing, knit.
Dance breaks as often as possible, less sitting.
Spend time with good people doing fun things.
Used to be addicted to tv. Now addicted to the internet/phone. I’m starting to think I liked tv better. We had similar taste in tv shows, btw. Then again, there were only a limited number of choices on a given day.
I tried to keep a balance between dark stuff on TV, like world news, and lighter fare, like Hallmark movies, but I think I need a change in my life. I'm gravitating toward substituting classic black and white movies from the 1930's and 40's for world news.