November 29

It’s a stage in my life gone, for sure (1986), and perhaps (2023)

1964

Some girl named Caroline was on duty at the hospital today and does she keep you busy! It’s better than when SD is on. I just found out — J is illegitimate. I never knew that! She’s getting spoiled now - she orders everyone around. She and a boy named Danny, whose legs are broken, were drag-racing down the halls in their wheel chairs. I hope I get to go back soon and I hope that when I do Caroline will be on.

I wanted to get up at 6 with Mom, but didn’t get up until 9:30! Oh, well.

Comment 2022

That entry reveals so much about attitudes about sex in early 60s, especially about the stigma and shame around having a child out of wedlock. Let me rephrase that: the stigma and shame about being that child. Premarital sex had only a few possible outcomes. Two could be managed in private: illegal (and dangerous) abortion, or going away (as one classmate did “to visit an aunt”) and giving the child up for adoption. Adoption was not completely without stigma; it was not uncommon for the child to be shielded from the “shame” of illegitimacy by never being told they were adopted. Once the girl came home, there might be rumors about abortions and adoption, but only a few people would know the truth. Then there were the public outcomes: marriage and single motherhood. My recollection was that the minimum age at which a couple could marry with parental consent was 14 for the male, 12 for the female. At any rate, one of my neighbors (aged 14) married his 13-year-old girlfriend when she became pregnant. Single mothers were very, very rare in our small town, so learning J’s story was truly shocking to me.

There are Americans who sincerely believe these were the “good old days”. I cannot agree. Griswold vs. Connecticut removed government restrictions on contraceptives (for married couples, at first and later for anyone). Single motherhood became more accepted, for a variety of reasons. Roe vs. Wade decriminalized abortion. Yes, I see every one of these changes as progress. Progress towards a world with fewer 13-year-old mothers or girls who died from those illegal abortions. Progress toward erasing the stigma of being adopted. I read the news in 2022 and wonder if 2024 will be a return to 1964. For all the little girls, I hope not.

Comment 2023

And see where we are now…

Comment 2024

Sheesh.

1979

Is humor incongruity? Superiority?Social situation?

So now he wants us to write an essay about the class. Certainly if I have the chance, I will. Kindly. Constructively. How do I say, “You are a pompous, sexist turd” as nicely as possible?

1984

Almost done with one more proposal. Then I’ve got one more to do before Christmas and I’m done until the NEH deadline in March. Time to work on Proceedings stuff, I think.

I have 5 cheaters in class this semester and it is beyond irritating. It is a real pain in the ass to turn them in to the honor council, and worse if I don’t.

1986

Kiddo 2 is a week old, and has been stretching out the time between feedings to about 3-3 1/2 hours. He still sleeps most of the time he isn’t eating. He is a real sweetie - - a beautiful, easy baby, at least so far. It’s early, I know, to tell. And Kiddo 1 changed so fast once she was out of infancy.

Odd - - after months of being tired of being pregnant, and years of wondering if I wanted to put up with another baby, I find I am a little sad when I realize he’s last one. It really is a remarkable experience, for all the pain and discomfort. And babies are marvelous creatures. But I don’t want 3 kids, can’t afford 3 kids, and don’t want to go through another pregnancy after 40. So this is it. Certainly two children is two more than I expected to have, even six or seven years ago. It’s a stage in my life gone, for sure.

1997

I had a dream last night; I can still feel it. It was complicated and confusing but I wanted to sleep some more to figure it out. I can’t remember where I was or with whom, but the scene was chaotic and I was not alone. We were trying to solve a problem of some kind and other things were going on at the same time. I knew it would work out. Oh well, it’s gone.

It’s a gray Saturday, and the dry leaves are drifting straight down to the ground. Not a breath of wind. There are so many of them , it looks like “snow globe” with leaves instead of snow.

Comment 2023

And that is why I dropped out of my dream group.

2004

Two more weeks of classes. Then more grading, and I am done. I think people in AMST need to (1) act more like a community and (2) get realistic about work loads.

2014

Grade, knit, eat leftovers, repeat. Lovely. No, really. I have achieved work-life balance.

2023

On Tuesday I am taking a drawing course. It’s nice and low key, and a nice change from knitting.

My poor little brain is having such trouble making sense of words. I just spent five minutes typing four different spellings for “bore”, because it didn’t look right. Turns out I meant “poor”, not bore, boor, or boar. This is not a good sign. It’s a stage in my life gone, perhaps..