November 26
Stupid, stupid, stupid!!
1964 (Thanksgiving)
I wanted to get up at 7:30 to go to New Milford Hospital with Mom, but got up at 8:40 instead! I didn’t get to NMH until 10:00. J is still there. She’s been there since July when the accident that killed her mother happened. She’s only four and very nice, but is getting a little spoiled . She might have to stay in the hospital until Christmas, but I hope not.
Marty is coming over tonight. She goes to school in Millbrook, NY, but her family lives here in New Milford. I met her at camp. She is the only camp friend I still write to.
Comment 2022
This entry is the kind I hesitate to post. Both J and Marty had unhappy backstories that really aren’t mine to share. The very idea of a four-year-old living in a hospital for four or five months absolutely breaks my heart. Mom kept me up on her antics and her progress, but once she was discharged, we lost track of her. According to Google, she is alive and still living in New Milford. So, she’s just an initial, and I even feel uneasy about sharing that.
Marty became an even better friend when she moved home to New Milford and became a classmate. The “boarding school” she attended was the kind that Children’s Services might send you to if your family was unstable. Her yearbook entry gave her secret ambition as “to find happiness”, and eventually she did, marrying and moving to England. We stayed in touch on Facebook until she dropped out of sight a few years ago. Sending a hug to Marty, wherever she is.
And yes, my registered nurse Mom often worked on Thanksgiving, and I sometimes went along and passed out juice.
1981
Yesterday I heard the baby’s heartbeat. I wish Jim could have been there; it was like a voice saying “hello”. This year there’s something to be thankful for, indeed!
1982
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Kiddo was fussy about her teeth so I peeled an apple like a friend had suggested and let her gum it. Somehow she broke a chunk off and the next minute she was choking. Luckily, I had read enough to know what to do next, so I turned her upside down and pounded on her back while simultaneously dialing 911. Finally she stopped choking and started crying, so it was ok. The ambulance still arrived and the EMT checked her out and left. Happy ending. But I have been a mess ever since. Guilt, fear, anxiety…it was scary as hell. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! She’s sleeping know and I already checked her twice, and probably will again and again. STUPID!!
1984
It was a very nice Thanksgiving this year. Mom came over, and two grad students who were at loose ends. We had a marvelous dinner and pleasant conversation. The next day we stayed around home and worked. Saturday afternoon we went to the zoo, while a slight feeling of illness became a 24-hour bug for me. Sunday I recuperated and finished grading papers. Today it was back to work for a long day, and I am really quite worn out. It’s taken time to build my stamina back up.
But all-in-all, this was a very productive day, a real whirlwind of activity. The best kind of day, somehow. I do enjoy being busy. Also the semester is winding down, a time I like. The sense of culmination, of loose ends being tied up, is something I savor.
1993
Here I am on a rocking ferry, crossing the Delaware Bay for a visit with Dad. I’m trying not to think of it as my last visit, but it may well be. It was good to talk with my friend Julia this morning. She had some good advice. Just being there is enough. He’ll know I love him and all that other stuff. If we wants to wax metaphysical, let him. Just listen to whatever he wants to say.
Comment 2023
As it turned out, we had another year. Still not long enough.
1997
A holiday respite of sorts. Yes, I have journals to grade, but I will also be able to wake up when I want to for four days.
I think that the idea of “simple abundance” would work for the congregation, somehow. We have been dwelling too much on what we lack and worrying about our needs. We end up feeling impoverished in the midst of incredible wealth. (Not $$, so much as talent and love.)
2023
Thanksgiving was early this year - almost as early as possible. But this project is giving me days and days of Thanksgivings past. There are also missing years of Thanksgivings, like the one in 1969 when Mom was in the hospital having surgery and it was just me and Dad. He hated poultry, so instead of turkey I made veal parmesan, using the “I Married an Italian Cookbook” Jim had given me for our first Valentine’s Day. And all the years when we invited whoever we knew was “at loose ends”, as we did in 1984. This year’s feast at Kiddo’s place in Baltimore was excellent, but I do miss the leftovers…please pass the stuffing and gravy.
Comment 2024
And a slice of that magical canned cranberry sauce.