November 13
I have learned some things about clothing in North Platte, but more about myself. And wasn't that the plan, all along? (2016)
1975
After the field trip, I got back to the department to find that my thesis proposal had been approved. Yay! There was also a letter of recommendation from my advisor (nice) and also a note that word had reached her that I wasn’t keeping my class long enough. (Oops) It’s true; I have been letting my shyness in front of people outweigh my responsibility to my class. So last night I worked out a new plan that might work better.
1979
And then the world began to spin. Just over a week ago I was asked to be on TV; last Saturday night I was. Me — an expert!! I think there were a few dozen people watching, half of them friends and acquaintances. It was fun, exciting, and ego-gratifying. Now it’s back to earth and back to work. Where is my key to the collection storage, by the way?
The dissertation looms. I must knuckle down! No more hiding in my class preparation, begad!
Did a dumb thing this semester. Next semester that class gets taught just like last year, no revisions. Save the creativity until I get a permanent job.
1985
A very good, long, productive but oddly leisurely day. I did a bit of editing of a grad student’s paper being submitted to a journal. Did I see it first? It is not very good paper. She left out too much explanatory material and it is not very well-written. I am afraid it will take more than a little revision. Another week, perhaps. J’s thesis-based paper is also plodding along. I’m not sure I enjoy this editing business. But that’s how people get published, and I owe it to my advisees to help get them in print.
I think a lot about the department chair job at Virginia Tech. Could I really do it? Could I rise to the occasion? Am I mature enough? Do I want to give up my research? Would I have to, in order to be an effective department chair? Am I honest enough? It would mean asking lots of questions and making mistakes at first, in order to learn. I would prefer to stay here. I keep thinking it would be better to be an assistant dean. Teach one course a semester, do my research, do advising, go to meetings, work on college-level things. It would be better to stay here and move up on campus, if that’s possible.
I think about another child EVERY DAY. My focus right now is getting in better physical shape. It will be interesting to see if:
- our tax situation is as good as we think it is, now that we bought a house.
- I get another decent raise ($2000 or more)
- a dependent born in late 1986 would help much with 1986 taxes (now that’s cold-blooded reasoning)
If, if, if.. We might go ahead and try for November or December. What the hell? If I can’t, I can’t, I’ll wait for the next window. But I definitely want another child.
Comment 2023
Explanation of the “window”: it is not uncommon for academics to try to schedule their children’s arrival at the end of the school year, or - in this case - the end of the fall semester. In the 1980s, that was because maternity leave did not exist, so we made our own.
1997
After another week of feeling crummy, with a head cold and a fearsome headache on Tuesday, I am feeling fairly good today. My nose is still drippy and I cough now and then, but my exercises have left me feeling strong and ready. Nice feeling.
I want the book done, one way or the other.
Thank you for Kiddo 1’s increasing maturity and for Kiddo 2’s sense of humor. And for Jim’s very existence. Thank you for the grace of Mom’s passing, which relieved her of so much misery. Thank you for her life and her unselfish ways, which were visible to everyone who met her. Thank you for our differences, which helped me find my own path. Thank you for our similarities, which give me a sense of connection with her, even though she is gone.
Mom, I miss you. I wish I could hear your voice again, or see your smile as you looked at the kids. They were so lucky to have you nearby.
2016
It is Sunday; I start my journey back to Maryland on Friday. In the time I have been here, I have settled in, watched and listened, met a few old friends, and made a whole bunch of new ones. I have learned some things about clothing in North Platte, but more about myself. And wasn't that the plan, all along?
I have not blogged much in the last few days, though I have written in my paper journal and posted thoughts and pictures on my personal Facebook page. One reason is that I was writing a report that demanded several hours of research, thought, and writing every day. My word limit arrived with a bang by mid-afternoon, and I would be done with writing. But the bigger reason is that my head has been a jumble of confused thoughts, between the election, the death of my poetic ideal Leonard Cohen, and the sensations produced by being here, in North Platte, at this time in my life.
So how do I spend the next five days? There may be a visit to a local clinic, to deal with this lingering ear infection, and there will be laundry. There will be writing in the morning and microfilm at the library in the afternoon. Probably more time in Cody Park, more sunsets (and maybe sunrises), and at least one more long drive besides the one to Denver on Friday. I am hoping for more new acquaintances, and good conversations. At some point, the North Platte that WAS has slipped further into the past, and I am firmly in the North Platte that IS. It's a place worth knowing and understanding, for me at this precarious time.
2017
Today is Monday. Grandkiddo 2 spent the night. We had homemade pasta and meatballs for dinner, which he gobbled up. Then a bit of play, a bath, a book, and bed. He’s so easy, easier by the month. Keeping him amused is never a problem, his mind is so busy. Keeping up with him - that can be a challenge!
2021
And there went the week again. Yet it was good and I feel happy. Does it really matter if I recall nothing except the way I felt? Content, happy, nicely tired at the end of each day, hopeful and grateful every morning? Does it matter that I knit more than I write? My mind is working, drifting, imagining, puzzling all the time and it’s fun to watch the movie in my brain while my hands are “busy”. It doesn’t matter.
Comment 2024
What I wouldn’t give for a week like that right now!