May 27
Brilliance, beer, bitchiness
Silence from 1965
Comment 2023
Too busy having fun, I guess.
1977
I am struggling - - - oh, how literally struggling through Hofstadter’s “Social Darwinism”, for my oral report. I am in physical and mental pain trying to stay awake enough to understand what I am reading, much less remember it. I think I will do all right, especially if I have time to go back and skim over it again, perhaps on Monday or Tuesday. I spent 1 1/2 hours or so in McKeldin today, pursuing an idea for the paper I have to do. It was a wild goose change, unfortunately. I had grandiose visions of doing a brilliant interpretation of the impact of mirrors on fashion during the Gilded Age. Needless to say..it’s more than I can do in five weeks. I saw several articles on reform dress and would like to do something on that. It could combine the women’s movement, the rise of pants for women, and the interest in the natural sciences, especially medicine.
And I think there is information on the subject.
Comment 2023
I still think the mirror research idea is brilliant.
1978
At Jack’s house in Queens, with onions on my breath. We went to the Whitney today and saw Calder’s circus and a film about it, and an exhibit of Steinberg’s drawings. I really enjoy his sense of humor and how it plays with profound ideas. Then we walked to the Central Park Zoo, which was depressing (little cages) and walked on to Schirmer’s to buy music for me and Jim. I took a lot of pictures and am now filled with a perverse longing to get home real fast and see my slides of the vacation, even if it means cutting our vacation short!
I am also hot to get home and play the piano. (Now that I have managed to read an occasional good book, I must go on to my next goal.) Why couldn’t I play piano very well? (Never as well as Jim; it took him 12 years to get that good, and I don’t expect to ever have that kind of time.)
I have an idea for a room divider/bicycle storage unit; pulley for bikes.
Comment 2023
Also a brilliant concept
1997
So can we tell what is falling apart, with Mom in the hospital? I have kept up with the Daybook readings, though I lost track of time and actually read ahead, somehow. But I ran out of matches for my candle days ago and haven't bothered with bringing a new box upstairs. Real spiritual time has faded to occasional daydreams. And, though I have kept up my exercise routine, writing in a journal has fallen through the cracks. But I'll have to say that, for the most part things are hanging on. I have had time to read and even watch TV. My grades are in. Yay! I have been working on the essay and we'll see how far I get. Kiddo 1 and I had a lovely shopping/lunch trip yesterday. Tomorrow I go to Pittsburgh for three days, which will be a pleasant diversion.
2002 (Wakonse Scholarship of Teaching conference)
This has flown by, mostly a very odd vein. I have felt alienated, engaged, and included at various times. I made the mistake of scheduling too many structured things at first. That made me too tired, and even more withdrawn. But today has a more open schedule and the weather is warmer, so this feels like a good day for an ending. Perhaps the core problem is that my reason for coming is essentially personal, and working in groups hasn’t helped. If anything, it just induced some mental static that has interfered with my thinking.
It is IMPERATIVE that I spend this summer writing, and that I complete a major portion of the AMST 212 essay/chapter/thing. I need to complete the WebCT and PCA papers. I need to submit a proposal to MAPACA. I need to do the reading for the “discovery research” books, so I can have proposals done by one year from now. I need to have ALL the planning for ALL my courses done by the end of July.
But what projects are you dropping?
All church stuff
I won’t take a workshop at UUMAC; that’s writing time
No gardening this year, just essential yard work.
Actually, I have lots of time this summer.
Comment 2024
Actually, you didn’t do most of that stuff. And 22 years later, it doesn’t matter.
2016
A beautiful Friday morning, and I found the terrace on the third floor, which is a lovely place to write. The CSA regional meeting turned into a bitch fest and I have made my one helpful suggestion. So it was time to go elsewhere and be less annoyed. Cleveland is an interesting city. The section where the hotel is used to be the theater district, and still is, in a way. There are several working theaters and lots of restaurants, but not much else. I thought I might go shopping in my spare time, but there is nothing here, within walking distance. Costume Society is it’s same old disappointing self. Too chummy, too insular, too dominated by museum people. The academics are a dying breed and know it. Oh well, the CSA is in the past. My past anyway. With tomorrow's Scholars Roundtable, my connection with it is done. I'm worried about my drinking. Somehow I have developed a habit of not only an nightly drink, but three at a sitting. Admittedly they were pilsners, but still it is not food and not nourishing. I need to back off the beer I need to drop 20 or 30 pounds. I need to walk and swim more. I need to get off my ass. I need to move more and live. At 67, I can't "let myself go" because there is nowhere to go but…. Sunday I'm going to listen to some papers, check out the silent auction and the marketplace and have a meeting with my Roundtable group. I am also going to walk or swim or both. I'm not going to have three beers. I am not going to have three beers. I am not going to have three beers
I visited the silent auction and feel safe except for a scarf and an interesting pair of fabric earrings. The brown batik scarf really calls to me. That I must have. I looked at the schedule and it looks like a swim is possible this afternoon.
Is it necessary to beat the identity horse so thoroughly? My new friend is giving her paper. I know she will want my impression, and I'm trying to form a constructive opinion. My main reaction is that she is limited by the meeting theme “identity”. I wonder how the audience will respond. CSA can be rather catty. I find it interesting that the 18th century has echoes in modern body shaming. I do think she is "reading too much into" the limited evidence but then I return to the problem of the theme. It seems repetitious. Her drawings are pretty fabulous though, very Janet Arnold. Overall, this is so far beyond my area of expertise. So I'm not feeling qualified to comment, yeah probably should.
Being a gray eminence is generally a pain in the butt.
2003
Walked all three dogs this morning. First Susie, then the Bobbsey Twins. Poor Bernie is staring at me. Cunningham is on the bed, Susie is on the tuffet at the foot of the bed, and I am on the brown chair. Bernie is lost and confused, not sure where to lie down. She glances at Susie. Susie wants up on the chair. Bernie moves to the tuffet. Susie heads for the office. Bernie relaxes and sags into the tuffet. Clearly being the low dog on the totem pole is a heavy burden.
Another cool, cloudy rainy day what an unusual May it has been. I imagine one day it will dry up and get sunny and turn into summer.
Today's to do:
call vet re-Bernie and Cunningham, Susie nails
email Paulette about article phenomenology approach
get Kiddo 2 Social Security card at bank
call Mellon Bank
pay bills
return library book
find “questions” paper
And believe it or not, I did all that!! So I can enjoy my leisure time this evening.
Comment 2023
Yes, three dogs. All beagles.
2023
Have reduced alcohol consumption to one beverage once or twice a week; do not miss it. I sometimes miss my dogs, especially Cunningham. I do not miss the Costume Society of American, though I do miss many of the people. I doubt that they miss me; I was getting very bitchy.
I did some very good writing yesterday, walked over 7,000 steps and amused a baby. Good times.
2024
I am currently struggling to read Judith Butler’s new book on gender. My reading comprehension is stuck in the seventies.
If I had started to practice piano even once a week 46 years ago, I’d be pretty good now.
Attended CSA again last week, for the first time since Cleveland. I was less bitchy this time and only had one beer in two days. Still not enjoying the gray eminence thing.
I have reduced my knitting to one work in progress, in the hope of actually doing more writing. Thoughts and prayers, people.