May 14
Mom, moms, and Mother's Day
1965
Today's Marcia's birthday. We also ran the 600 and did the softball throw. I did about 90 feet in the softball throw and ran the 600 in 2:12. Last year I did 2:21. Maybe I'll break 2 minutes next year. I hope so! That would be neat!
We saw "Signal 30" today. It's about accidents. It shows bodies. It's awful!
Comments 2023
I have already written about Marcia, so I will just link to that entry:
“Signal 30” was one of two films that were shown in high schools in an effort to make teenagers more careful drivers. “Mechanized Death” was the other; both were graphic and horrifying. I am sure they are on the Internet somewhere, but I don’t need to find them.
1984
Today I have a ton of work to do. By Wednesday it will all be over. Wow! This is a busy time year. Having Mom here has been very pleasant so far. The new “room” upstairs has relieved the crowding that an extra person would mean. She’s been helping with meals and dishes and, of course, with Kiddo.
Ah, Kiddo! Ah, two-year-olds! And to think I used to worry about her being too passive and quiet. She’s in perpetual motion now, and perpetually saying “no”. It is a strain on me, for sure. Most of the rebellion seems aimed at me. She is getting along better with Jim now. I am in my “one is plenty” stage. I think there are ample opportunities for being a nurturer without being a mother of two. I don’t think Jim feels the need for a second child. And Kiddo…well, that we don’t know, do we?
Comment 2023
We were renting a small two bedroom house. When Mom came to move into senior housing nearby, the building was not quite finished, so she stayed with us. At first, she had to make do with a makeshift sleeping area in the semi-finished attic, which shows what a good sport Mom was. Every morning she would come down the stairs, see Kiddo in her high chair, smile broadly, and exclaim, “Good morning!” And she meant it with her entire being.
1985
Yesterday I went to see “Amadeus” with Mom. The play had been incredibly affecting, and I expected the movie to be the same. Perhaps it would have been, if I hadn’t seen the play. It’s about mediocrity that recognizes itself. Four years ago it felt as if the finger were pointing right at me. Now? I’m not mediocre, I’m mostly busy/lazy. Like now - - I could get up and work. Or I could lie here and write in my journal. Or I could go back to sleep. Which do you think I’ll do? Silly question.
Same day, bedtime.
I’ve been working on this sneaky proposition. Real sneaky. I’m not sure I can get away with it. Instead of feeling like I should give the department 40 hours a week or whatever, why not just give them a certain amount of work? 5 articles a year, or 4 even? Care of the costume collection? Teaching? Advising? Then leave the damn stuff at work. Bring less home. Play with my family. Clean a bathroom occasionally. Rake leaves.
Ya ha!
Have another child.
Why not?
Comment 2023
How could a person be busy and lazy at the same time? I dunno. Maybe I was harried and exhausted.
Also, I did get away with my sneaky plan.
1997
Study day, 1997. Classes are over, no more MEETINGS (routine ones, anyway) until September. Life is GOOD. I have decided to savor it by working at home most of the day.
Comment 2023
A few hours later, I got a call that Mom had fallen and was in the emergency room about an hour away.
2023
Mother’s Day. My best one was in 1982, when Kiddo one was about a week old. But once my mother moved close to us, it was her day. I didn’t mind that; it was just that May was such a horror. Kid birthday, end of the semester, Mother’s day, final exams and projects, grading. My birthday is later in May, but it was nearly always graduation day on campus. When the kids were little, it was also the wrap up to sports, scouts, the last grading period. So from 1984 to 1997, Mother’s Day was just one more thing to do, and one that was the most important to Mom.
For the last several years, I have been organizing an event I call “Problematic Mother’s Day”. We get together for snacks and maybe a movie. Fancy cocktails at a bar. NO need to explain why it’s problematic. No kids? Estranged kids? Estranged mom? Grief? Just show up and talk about something else.
I loved my Mom. We were very different in some ways, but similar in some pretty spooky ones.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I hope there’s brunch in Paradise.
