1965
Yippee!! It was a great show! What an audience. They loved everything. I only made a few mistakes. Everyone said I was good though. One thing spoilt it - I saw V leaving - with a tall, willowy blonde - and I don't mean a boy! Ah, well, maybe it's his sister. (ha ha ha) I still like him a lot. He's a swell guy with a cute face - Wotta Man!
Anonymous commenter 2006
I am so happy you include things like "wotta man" which I know I would've long since scratched out of my diaries.
I replied:
I promise you, transcribing this unedited was the hardest part. The only changes I made was in abbreviating some names to initials. But of course, everyone from New Milford High School of that era would have known all the players.
1978
Feeling thoughtful and content - - my Sunday feeling, I guess. It’s cold and wet and windy outside my window, with a spring rain slanting down, first one way and then another. Time. Time, time. With my chin on my hand, looking at the puddles and the rain, I felt like a child again. After all, in the context of a billion years, what does 20 years of “growing up” mean? Do Mayflies chide each other after an hour or so for being childish?
What a wonderful day - - if only it was a bit warmer, so I could stand on the balcony and enjoy the rain.
I am waiting for a surge of energy, the lightning bolt of inspiration that never seems to come. When I am old I shall write poetry, when I am gray and wizened, I will make art. Now I must practice and learn and reach and stretch.
I want so much to give something to the world, or even to one person, but I feel so poor. My “gifts” seems so very small and rude. Others have given, have produced so much, and from here it seems to have come so easily. What am I? A poet? A storyteller? A teacher? A great lover, a philosopher, a savior? Or just a 29-year-old woman sitting on the edge of a rocking chair, hunched over a notebook, listening to the rain?
1985
Another lovely spring morning. Kiddo is sleeping in a bit (it’s almost time to wake her) and the birds are singing. It’s real cold out there but maybe they know it’s going to be in the 70s. Oh, I like this house. For all the headaches so far, it is such a comfortable place. Ugly wallpaper and all. I’ve started stripping the kitchen wallpaper already. Couldn’t take it anymore.
1997
Kiddo 2 and I are happily settled in a Residence Inn in downtown San Antonio. I may never willingly stay anywhere else! This has been so terrific! We have two rooms (and two TVs), a kitchen with microwave and dishwasher…it has been great. We went on the Riverwalk boat ride and ate at the Hard Rock Cafe. It was very fine. Today I work on my paper, tomorrow I present it.
2006
I need more ritual in my life. I need a richer, more intentional morning routine. I need the comfort of my religious past, without the sense of unworthiness and loss. I need the wholeness and sense of connection I get from earth-based spirituality, but without its mythology.
I have no daily spiritual ritual.
A friend of mine wants to go on a tour of the universe after she dies.
2023
I do some light editing here, as well. I can deal with my own embarrassment, but don’t want to hurt or insult someone else.
Watching my crush walk out of the auditorium with a “tall, willowy blonde” was a bummer indeed.