March 20

An assortment of musings and the importance of red shoes.

1965

It's the first day of spring! (By the way, we had about 5 inches of snow today.) My back hurts like anything. I don't think I have a chance with V. I hear he's a very devout Catholic and so would never get involved with a Protestant. Pity! I'd better concentrate on something else besides him. Maybe next year a nice Episcopal or Lutheran boy will move here. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Meanwhile, I'm falling in love, I think.

Comment 2006

True story: a few years ago, I mentioned to some of my students that my parents had originally objected to my "mixed marriage", and one of them thought that meant I'd married a woman. She couldn't imagine anyone objecting to "two Christians getting married".

1981

First day of Spring. It snowed, a little. We’ve been class-less this week. No students - - just a few die-hard junior faculty members with nowhere to go. I’ve been at the library, getting quite a bit done on the Maryland textile project. I’m very excited about it. It seems so much more possible than it once did. When I started thinking abut it, it felt like fantasizing, not planning. Now I am planning.

Comment 2024

And then I did something else.

1985

The kitchen is mostly put away, except for one box. It also needs to be organized, but that can wait a bit.

How long has Kiddo been a “terrible two”? I can’t quite decide. It’s been since mid-to-late summer, I guess. About 8 months. Since I went to Norway for that conference? Since toilet training began in earnest? Why am I trying to pin it on something I did?? Both Jim and I say “no” to her about the same amount. Well, we’ll all survive. Luckily she’ll get older, and I can learn to be more patient. I thought I was a patient person. But I am not, not, not.

1997

Well, Sarah, excuse me if I can’t buy into “finding my authentic beauty” as part of my Simple Abundance (TM) journey. Who am I supposed to be pleasing? The reason that what goes on inside is more important is that my internal self is visible to me at all times. My external self is only visible to me when I look in the mirror. (I do that to see how I look to others.) I think that being clean, neat, and comfortable is 90% of the art of dressing. The last 10% is play: the fun of colors, accessories and interesting details that liven up the whole process. 

So there.

2004

Women’s Retreat weekend. The usual beautiful drive, the ever-widening circle of friends. For my 20 minutes of silent meditation, I crept off to the same sunroom where I spend parts of my solitary retreat last year. It has been a good year.The work I did that day a year ago helped push me in a good, productive direction, personally and professionally.

What are my strengths? (From the guided mediation prompt) In my mind, the wise woman was my mother, and she didn’t have to hold up a mirror. She is my mirror. Our physical similarities help me discern our other, deeper similarities, as well as our differences. We both try to live principled lives. We both have leadership abilities that we avoid using. We are both creative, especially in situations of scarcity. We are both problem solvers. I write about Mom in the present tense, because she lives in me and is here as long as I am here to evoke her.

Why am I a reluctant leader? Am I, really?

I am not sure I am so reluctant. I like being asked to lead. I don’t mind being in charge. But I also like having things done “my way”. I hate asking people for help, and I am not good at delegating. I hate making phone calls! I hate being stuck in a leadership position, with no way to move on to the Next Thing.

2018

Today is Tuesday, and the first day of Spring. It is also rainy, cold and getting colder, bringing sleet and then snow. But it is bright here at my window, and I am easing into a new routine. (Again!) I get up and ride the bike. The first day I rode 10 minutes, tomorrow I ride 12. Today was 11. My goal is 30 minutes before breakfast. Wish me luck!

2024 Jo: LOL

The more fiction I read, the more impossible it seems that I could ever write it myself. Start small, I think. Very very small. Storytelling. Flash fiction. Historical snippets. Tiny essays. It’s a start, and maybe an end. My real goal is to learn, and improve, not to have a NYT bestseller. Sort of like the way I learned to play the fiddle. Badly at first, then better, and eventually well enough.

2022

Thinking about entropy. Once the inevitable end result of entropy becomes clear, is it better to try to slow it down or to accelerate it? That assumes one has the power, of course. It may be that as individual humans we can only watch.

2023

This morning, I finished and submitted our taxes, instead of writing. Five hours I will never get back. Then I dropped into 1965, 1997, and 2006, and found nothing to inspire my tax-numbed brain. Thumbed through another journal: 1985. And there I learned that we moved into our last two homes on the same day: March 19, 1985, and March 19, 2020. So many changes in those 35 years! From parents of a two-year-old to empty nesters with two grandchildren. From workers to retirees. From us and a U-Haul to watching a moving company do all the work. From a four-bedroom house to a four-room apartment. From Reagan to Biden. From Betamax to streaming. From an Apple IIe to a computer in my hand. It is mind-boggling to contemplate all that had happened in those thirty-five trips around the sun. 

My clothing philosophy, however, has not changed. I particularly believe that when it comes to accessories, life is too short not to buy red shoes when they have cute ones in my size

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