March 2

I’m trying hard not let things creep up on me. (Ah, here they come, now!!)

1965

Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis and the Playboys

Wotta day! I went downtown after school for the Red Cross. I had to pass out posters. I didn't get home until 6 and at 7 I was off to rehearsal. They're more organized now - it's about time! Several groups have dropped out - no one important. I have a feeling S, whom I am accompanying, will be dropped. She's good, but not good enough. It's really a shame. I like her.

Comment 2023

There was a thing for a while in the 60s for the progeny of the stars of our parents’ generation to attempt show biz careers. Some succeeded (Jane Fonda, for instance) and then there was Gary Lewis, son of Jerry. His is an interesting story. The short version: garage band, Disneyland, Murray the K, Ed Sullivan, seven hit singles, a stint in Vietnam...”As of 2022, Gary Lewis and the Playboys are still touring the world on their own and occasionally with other popular acts of the 1950s, '60s, and '70s. The group performs on cruise ships, at casinos, festivals, fairs, and corporate events.” (Wikipedia)

The local version of this was Dennis, Durward Kirby’s younger son, who had his own garage band around that time. Marcia “and friends” got invited to a pool party at the Kirby home in nearby Sherman. According to faithful wingman Marcia, I caught the eye of someone in the band. But that doesn’t happen until June, and I mustn’t get ahead of myself.

And here is proof from the local paper that I did indeed pass out posters with my Girl Scout troop. I’m the tall one, of course.

1978

My main concern this week has been my schedule, bless it. There is still so much to do, and so little time. I’m trying hard not let things creep up on me. (Ah, here they come, now!!)

The history paper is the most out of control. Or maybe the Clothing and Comfort class. It’s hard to tell, from one moment to the next.

Jim got a promotion and a raise today! Rewards for being such a trustworthy, reliable worker! A nice raise, too!)

1979

Field trip today. I also have various small things to do; every time I think of them I feel my stomach twist. Yet they are all unimportant things. It’s just a matter of doing them. (Pause for appreciative laughter.) I envy Marley, lying there without a care in the world. I have about half an hour before I leave for campus. I’ve walked the dog and read the paper. 

They are playing “Some Enchanted Evening”…I remember seeing Jim the first time. He was standing there in the freezing cold Syracuse winter, with the collar turned up on his preppy Harris tweed jacket (silly) and his eyes tearing from the color. 

Me: “Aren’t you cold?”

Jim (cheerily): “Nope!” 

Me, to myself: “Jerk!”

I’m terrible at first impressions.

“Once you have found hi, never let him go…”

Later: Good field trip. We had about 9 or 10, plus me, plus people wandering in. There are some really good people in my class this semester. I wish LS were doing better. She seems interested and her friends do well. It bothers her to do so poorly.I don’t know how to help her, how to open the conversation.

1980

Hayfever season has been postponed once again. 8-10 inches of snow fell yesterday, and it won’t be above 32 for quite a while. I am studying for my comprehensive exam, just plodding along. On the one hand, I could take it tomorrow and probably pass. On the other hand, I worry that I am fooling myself and am actually woefully ill-prepared. I would like to just get it over with. Irritating. My neck is a little stiff. My mind is working, though my body feels very sluggish. I need a shower and am mildly aware of my feet being sweaty and dirty. But they are warm. If I take a shower, they’ll become cold. I am so tired of studying, and angry at the time it requires. My thinking of late has all been superficial, thanks to being too busy. Pish-tush.

Speaking of pish-tush, I saw my first live Gilbert and Sullivan play. Not Mikado, Pirates of Penzance. Good voices, so-so production. Ratty-looking rental costumes. Someday I’d like to costume G & S, an opera, or have another chance to do a Greek play, only with an actual budget.

Comment 2024

I didn’t do any of those, but I have done a few Christmas pageants, lots of Halloween costumes, and a fancy jacket for Grandkiddo’s production of Matilda. 

1986

Went to a Building Your Own Theology workshop this weekend, which was very good. Had a horrendous headache at first, but it went away. Got my period yesterday, too, and am now getting very nervous about not conceiving. I just want to be pregnant, and not have it up in the air.

1989

(First entry since I/22)

No wonder the last journal lagged so much! At this rate, I’ll be 45 when I finish this notebook. Today was rather nice day, productive in its own way. I went to bed the night before fully intending to spend the day writing or at the library, with a yoga break at noon. But Kiddo 2 was up at 5:30, cross and cranky. By the time I got back from the kid run, I was already exhausted. So I started a load of laundry and took a half hour nap. Then I decided to screw writing for the day. The house was a  mess and it was impossible to work under those conditions. So I pulled three rooms into some semblance of order. I cut yoga, too. (So what?) Mom came for a visit from 10:30 to 2, and I was too involved in cleaning to pull myself out, so we talked while I tidied.

So the book is (still) on hold, but the house is  3/8 clean and we all have clean clothes. 

I wish I had more energy, patience, and self-discipline. I tell myself: maybe tomorrow, or next week, or this summer…But I knew that having a two-year-old was going to be hell, and it is, and I just need to take each day as it comes. Someday I will have to drag him out of bed in the morning. Really! It will happen, someday. Not soon, but someday. In the meantime, I should enjoy his tender moments and try to laugh more often. I should also try to get to bed earlier and have more sex.

What will it be like to be 40? 41? 42? I wish it didn’t make me feel so nervous and sad. Up until two to three years ago, I was so scornful of people who worry about their age, and now I *are* one! Part of me says “I could be a good sport about getting older if…” If I get the book finished this spring, if I love 5 or 10 pounds, if I generally look better than I did last year. But it’s stupid to negotiate. Come May 19, I’ll be 40, and it just seems incredible. I don’t feel that old. Old? Forty isn’t old, but it used to be, right? (Ha)

I guess if Kiddo 2 can survive being 2, I can survive being 40.

1997

Yesterday was great. I got lots done at work, then to dinner with the Girls. An Andalusian restaurant…very good! Today I am struggling with a cold and with the kids over the usual homework stuff.

2024

My big adventure yesterday was a visit to the oral surgeon to have a tooth extracted. The nitrous oxide took my mind off what was going on in my mouth; I daydreamed about Shah Rukh Khan. He needs to star in romance with an age-appropriate co-star. I am sure many of his older fans would agree. His action films are fun, but I just want to see a silver-haired SRK take the hand of  a woman his own age and say “I know what you’re missing…” 

Totally worth eating mush for a couple of days.