July 17
Remembering Fred Exley
1966
Juan #2 came again today - with his girlfriend. It is lucky for me I’m not madly in love with him. They brought his girlfriend’s brother, too - a real doll. He’s very nice - simpatico.
We went back to the scene of the fiesta today. The hacienda is beautiful in the day, too. Soft grass and lovely grounds.
Nada mas.
Watched a soccer game with Juan #1.
1978
I just finished Fred Exley’s book, A Fan’s Notes. It was very odd. All that time, seeing him at the other end of the bar. I am impressed, saddened…and amazed. I’ve gained new respect for strangers, since it has now been proven to me that You Never Really Know.
It’s about “America”, as the jacket notes so flabbily intone, and it’s about being nearly 30 and not famous, when you want to be be famous very, very much.
I wonder if he planned it or just wrote it? Should writing be learned or is it instinctive? How to organize a story, ways to think?
Comment 2023
I spent two summers in Alexandria Bay, NY in the 1970s. The first summer I waitressed at The Ship, and Italian restaurant owned by two brothers. The second summer I was the costumer for a summer theater. The restaurant was adjacent to the theater, so between working there and working next door, I was at the Ship just about every evening, working or drinking. There were two “regulars”: a guy named Paul who did canvas covers for fancy boats, and Fred Exley. They would banter and I would listen. Fred’s first novel, A Fan’s Notes, had been published five years before, winning him the William Faulkner Award for best first novel. I was sort of in awe of the “famous novelist” and a little disturbed by his appearance. Just in his forties, he looked much older, and always rumpled and disheveled. Just a funny, sad guy. But what a book.
The best part of this post: “it’s about being nearly 30 and not famous, when you want to be be famous very, very much”. Says the nearly 30 woman who secretly wanted to do something important very, very much.
1980
An irritating day. At least I got some writing done, for about 2 hours at the library. Then I played furniture mover in the new office. A small triangle with no windows; what a crock.
Comment 2023
I was starting my fifth year at the University, moving into my third office. By the time I retired in 2017, I had inhabited 17 offices in 14 different buildings. I am highly proficient at floor plans and packing.
1982
A very hot, humid Saturday. The air conditioner we bought works beautifully, though. It’s slightly cooler (77-78) and much drier inside.
1983
…still on the same organizing jag. The latest system is ok. I have even transferred it to the computer, more for computer practice than anything. Without a printer, an electronic list is less convenient than a handwritten list. Can’t stick it up on the fridge.
Summer is still hot, but life is real neat. I have 14 things I ant to do; I just can’t decide. Much better than having 14 to-do items I’m trying to avoid.
Comment 2023
Surely I am not the only one who made lists on their first home computer, even if they couldn’t be printed out. I also programmed out Apple Ice to play “Eensy Weensy Spider” while a crude graphic spider crept up the side of the screen. Kiddo loved it.
1986
Now I’m focusing on three areas of anxiety. First, waiting for the amnio results. I should just calm down and wait, since they said it would be four weeks. Second, I worry about me and Kiddo flying to Atlanta and dying in a plane crash. I know it’s crazy, but I’ll still feel better when we get home. Finally, Jim has been distant and preoccupied lately.
1997
Life is such a tease. The movie afternoon didn’t come off, because W began throwing up and Jack began worrying and carrying on in his lovable Jackoid way. It turned out to be a 24-hour bug, and W is much better, but they leave today, and the visit is over. (Until next week, when we arrive there!)
Weather still stinks.
2003
Almost finished with the gig, and now I am feeling pretty happy and confident. This is useful work. I wish knew more about infants’ clothing, and perhaps someday I will. I could happily spend a week or two here every summer, though NOT living in a motel and eating at restaurants. That gets old fast. I find myself lying in my room watching TV at 6 pm thinking “gotta eat” but not being real interested in climbing in the car.
Being here in work mode has also completely short-circuited my “concentration” on the Big Picture(s). By that, I mean the various cosmic questions I am mulling:
How do undergraduates get lost on the research path?
How do I incorporate inquiry-based learning (and everything else) into AMST 201 without going crazy?
How do I get what I want out of life? Now THAT’S a question to ponder.
I’ve been here three days and I’m picking out houses. It’s sad, really, to think that I am 54 years old and looking at 20 or 30 good years ahead of me - if I’m lucky - and KNOWING that mountains and high plains make me feel alive and centered, and being (seemingly) doomed to spend my life sweltering in the Washington DC summers. And living (egad!) in the suburbs. How did a little girl from North Platte, Nebraska end up in the tropical, crowded suburbs? I hated them in New Jersey, and I hate them now. GRRRR.
Comment 2023
It turns out that what I needed was more sky. The minute we walked into our current apartment - fifth floor, with lots of east-facing windows - I knew I was home. If you are from a place with lots of sky, you know what I mean.