July 13

Am I still too young to have achieved anything?

1966 (Mexico)

Mrs. D is sick now. I'm invited to a fiesta Saturday night. Hawaiian style. Pati says there are two Italian boys who want to meet me. I'll bet. 

Gee, I like Mexico.

1977

Chemistry is not so bad. I need to know the formulas. Lots of memorization for tomorrow, before the exam. I wish I could get better at flat memorization.

I did well on my first 2 labs: 20/20. I have a feeling that it’s all downhill from here, though.

I got a missive from the Costume Society - -  I get the impression that I have a long way to go before I’m in that league. I would like to be in that league, but am really unsure how to get there. Am I still too young to have achieve anything?

1996

That's it! No more summer school. Now it's the book, College Park Scholars, getting us in shape for school. I gotta get the book in hand in one month!!

Comment 2023

I don’t even know what book I am writing about. Obviously one I never finished.

1997

My last summer class met yesterday. Maritza asked me how my summer was. This was a class that all knew my mother had died, and I saw the apprehensive looks on their faces when they heard the question. But actually, I said, the summer has been a good one, despite Mom’s death. The class was good, I feel that life is going at a slow enough pace that I could savor it, my kids have reached a wonderful stage of independence.

I didn’t mention that Mom’s death itself has been a kind of blessing. I doubt if all of those nice young people would have understood at all. But her death brought me time to drop everything, to pause and examine my life and my relationships, and that gave me great pleasure and a measure of peace. Her death came under such circumstances that it was actually a relief, however sad. I do miss her, but I had already lost her on May 15, when she had the first mind-robbing trauma, whatever it was. And there is so much of her spirit that is still here.

Now it is time to grade for a while.

2003 

On the Amtrak Empire Builder, traveling through upper midwest.

My plan for the day is to discern my next actions foe a variety of tasks, finish my audiobook, and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

11 AM: Nice job retyping the guidelines I created for infant’s clothing! I am considerably impressed by the extensive work I did in data collection and analysis. Too bad I never followed through and published any of it. There is still damn little out there on the subject, no thanks to me!

Here we are in Havre, MT, and apparently ahead of schedule, so we are going to chill in Havre until our scheduled departure time. That means about 30 minutes of fresh air and exercise. At Minot, N, I managed to walk the length of the train and run up and down four flights of stairs twice (a handy viaduct).

I still have six hours to Whitefish, MT, and am trying to pace myself. Am feeling quite brilliant about the plan to check into a hotel and rest tonight and drive to Bozeman tomorrow. So very, very clever!

7:30 PM: With about 90 more minutes on this leg of the journey, I am taking a break from work to enjoy the magnificent scenery. So far I haven’t seen much wildlife, just a ground squirrel outside of East Glacier. But there have been gorgeous little patches of wildflowers , and the trees and meadows are lush and green. Quite simply, one of the most beautiful places on earth is passing before my eyes. No work now!

10:16 Whitefish, MT

Well, that was easy!

I got off the train, found the car rental, was in my hotel room 15 minutes after leaving the train. A nice walk to the grocery for some snacks.. Amazing air, what a scent!

2005

(On the Amtrak Zephyr) Tuesday about 6 am. Great sleep last night, though this morning my left shoulder is screaming at me. Too bad, The new meds worked for a little while. 

I am like a little kid, scanning the horizon for mountains. We passed Fort Morgan just after I woke up. 

11:18 am

I am supposed to be getting work done. I am angry that my Treo froze and then lost all my data so I can’t use my nifty little keyboard. I hate handwriting. I hate trying to write on a moving train. I hate that I am so far behind in my work plan for the summer. I feel guilty that I haven't gotten more done. I feel angry that I have to do unpaid work for the department over the summer. I am angry that the MITH appointment has taken so long.

My unreasonable expectation is that after a stressful school year when I've been overloaded with work I will go in to some kind of productive low gear in June. My unreasonable expectation is that the coworkers I have spent so much time trying to please won't spend an equal amount of time pleasing or helping me. The awful truth is that ONLY I am for me when it comes to protecting my time and sanity I need to enjoy this day and the ride through the Rockies. My six hours of worthwhile effort could be for ME instead of THEM.

2006

Now here’s a neat idea I’ve been incubating for what seems been incubating for what seems like years. America this week America in situ, America today, American right now. But I need to figure out how to create/generate the idea fodder, the grist for my mill.

Comment 2023

What the hell are you taking about?

2019

I attended my first rally last night since the rally for sanity/fear in 2012. It was a good experience, though not one I will repeat anytime soon; too much standing for my unhappy feet. It did help me get in my steps, which was good. Generally, though, it needed more music and fewer white people talking over the brown and black speakers. It was especially noticeable when the person had an accent or was speaking through a translator. There are also a few clumps of white people who would shift to talking with each other when a person of color was talking.

2023

So far, so good. I work on my book project for an hour or two every morning, then turn to smaller tasks, including transcribing these journals. I have been asked to organize the memorial service for my dear friend Sandy, but am so far having great success in delegating most of the tasks. The one thing I want to do personally is embroider her name on one of the memorial quilts at church. I have also decided to definitely teach a non-credit course here at the retirement community this fall. Details to come. It feels good to be designing a course again.

2024

These posts remind me that it has been too long since my last long distance train trip. I miss the Zephyr.