January 28

My life is so unscheduled that I barely know what day it is, and that is much more enjoyable than I thought it would be.

1965

No school at all today! Whoopee! Back to school tomorrow, though. I just sat around all day. I better get going - I go to a P.J. party tomorrow night. I just sat and sat all day. Ahh! Beautiful! Well, keeping in line with my previous performance, I'm going to cut it short.

Comment 2006

The loveliest part about exam week was that if you had no exams, you could stay home. Staying home meant a day of watching game shows and cartoons on TV, which is probably what I did. I do believe I have lost my capacity for that kind of leisure, unless I am just bone tired. It strikes me that it would be a good thing to practice, before I find myself in a nursing home bored out of my skull.

1978 (Graduate school)

The semester looks pretty good from here. I am reading interesting things in Historiography, and creeping along in Econ. Economic theory just doesn’t make sense; too many assumptions. The real fun is the “French for Reading” class.

My department chair grows more complementary all the time, but it makes me uncomfortable. After all, it’s demoralizing enough to fail one’s self. I’d just as soon not fail other people. Also- I am not sure she is basing her respect on the real me. I certainly don’t feel that I know her.

Oh, would I love to be done with this degree right now!

1993 (Second semester teaching in my new department)

Second week of classes over! (What an attitude!) So far the undergrad class is going well. I have a better idea of what I’m doing this time around. It would be gratifying to have better attendance, but I am not sure it’s my fault. I am still unsure of myself in the grad course. I feel they are speaking different language. I’m supposed to be leading them down a path, but it’s not the path I took to a career in academia. I’ve blazed my own, for better or for worse. But this is my new home, for now. I am going to try to fit in and to fit them to me.

1997

I got some of my wish. We are still having meetings on Monday mornings, but only every other week. Now. Baby steps. Yesterday was busy, but not productive. Lots of stuff done, little of it important.

1998

Imagining myself at 80. I am living in a group environment, but I have my own special room where I can do my creative stuff. My body is large, soft, and not as flexible or as strong as it was in 1997. I might seem like a typical older woman. But those who take the time time to get to know me discover a lively mind,, still curious about everything. I look back on the last thirty years and take great satisfaction in my spiritual growth, especially my success in balancing the main elements of my life - - all “four rooms”. My work in gender and fashion is common knowledge, so I don’t have to do so many interviews.

Imagining 80-year old Jo writing to 48-year old Jo.

You have many productive years ahead of you. Develop and maintain a clear vision of your goals and don’t get distracted. Stop worrying about critics and barriers and boundaries, and just do what you need to do. The central issues seem to be gender (still) and sustainable consumption, to the foreseeable future. Start gardening again. Cherish the kiddos while they are still at home.

Comment 2024

Imaginary 80-year-old me seems pretty savvy. Looking forward to meeting her in person in 2029.

2019 (Mexico)

2023

I am not in a nursing home (yet) but I have retired and moved to a “vibrant senior community”, where I am improving my ability to be less busy. The pandemic helped, in its own weird way. We moved into our new, downsized home two days after all the restaurants and activities here were shut down, and we mainly spent the next three months adapting to leisure. I zoomed a bit (having taught online courses, that was no big deal). I also read more, sewed masks, took up knitting again, and finally established a daily meditation habit. 

However, it’s time to admit that I will always be a multitasker, or at least a duotasker. (Is that a thing?) I cannot “just” anything. I cook and listen to the radio, or an audiobook. Knit and watch TV. Meditate and knit. Write and listen to music. So am I busy or am I at leisure? It feels like leisure, because there are no deadlines. My life is so unscheduled that I barely know what day it is, which is much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. 

Today is Saturday. Whatever that means.