February 4

"Improvement isn't any good unless it is permanent" says some 15-year-old sage

1965

I got my report card - it wasn't too bad! I still had an 85 average - honors. Here 'tis:

Biology - 87 (+0)
Geometry - 92 (+4)
History - 85 (-10)
Spanish - 90 (-4)
English - 90 (+8)
Phys. Ed. - A (+0)

Really, I went down two points, but I'll try to raise my average next time. Oh, it's always the same - next time, next time! Someday I'll be able to say "This time I went up". Improvement isn't any good unless it is permanent.

Comment 2006

It would be nice to say that I eventually managed to become a better student, but in fact I was second-tier my entire student career. I graduated from high school with a B+/A- average, from college with a 3.2 and didn't have a 4.0 even one semester in grad school. (Nor did I ever do my best, which kind of explains it.)

I can't blame being busy, because I was involved in hardly any extracurricular activities and never had a regular part-time job, or even an active social life. I spent my time playing the piano, reading, sewing and watching TV and did all my homework in study hall.

Comment 2023

Come to think of it, I didn’t own a pocket calendar until I was 24, starting grad school. 

1976

Classes are going splendidly. I heard from Kansas State again; they seem very interested in me. Time to go.

1984

I babysat for a 14-month-old boy tonight. He was a nice, easy kid. But between that and Sue’s having a book on only children, I’m thinking more about just having one child. Kiddo is marvelous; it’s been an incredibly satisfying experience. BUT. Deep down inside I worry that two would be harder. My work and my non-parental life also important to me. I already find it hard sometimes to balance everything. How could that be anything but worse with two? If only it didn’t feel like denying existence to that second child, as if it already lived inside me! That is so irrational. Don’t I do that every month, every year that I’m on birth control?

1986

Many changes! J has moved in. So far it’s pleasant arrangement. We give her plenty of space. At least I hope it’s plenty; it can’t be easy to go from independence to sharing a house.

One of Kiddo’s goldfish is ailing. Has tail rot and heaven knows what else. We’re doing what we can and hoping that Giggle doesn’t buy the farm. Or whatever fish do.

1987

Kiddo 2 slept through the night! And I mean all night: last fed at 7:15, went to sleep about 8 and is still asleep at 7 AM. That was dramatic. Seemed like it would be forever, two weeks ago. Of course, then he got sick and was up 2 or 3 times a night. He’s 2 1/2 months old now and turning into a real person, the way he looks around him, smiles at people, etc.

Now if Kiddo 1 could settle down a bit. She’s still getting used to the interloper. This, too will pass.

1997

This was an excellent morning: peaceful, nourishing, and …what? Two words popped into my head: “holy” and “anticipating”. Neither makes sense; the right word would combine the two, which makes even less sense. It seemed like I had experiences, just for a moment, the reason I started meditating. I wanted to feel that each day was special. 

February is not such a bad month. Perhaps a little cold an often bleak, but the first signs of spring are already arriving, if you know where to look. And maybe we will still have a chance for snow!

1998

The Nor’easter arrives. So far rather unimpressive day of steady rain. It may get windier or wetter. We’ll see. Hmmf.

2010

A week and a half into the semester, and it is going well. In fact, I am very pleased with what is taking shape. AMSt 450 (Research Methods) is particularly smooth; moving the readings and exercises earlier was a great idea. The simplicity course is more complicated - - oh, the irony! But it is complicated in a good way  - - more interactive, livelier, more dynamic. Everyone seems very engaged.

I am simultaneously trying to re-engage with the book. It is clear that can’t - - must not - - wait for a contract to finish the first draft. So back to work I go. Fortunately, my schedule this semester and next will be kind. On to work!

Comment 2024

It happens, doesn’t it, fellow writers? You have a contract and then you don’t, through no fault of your own. It’s happened to me twice, once in the 1990s and then again in 2009. Just keep on keepin’ on!