August 26
Only three entries between 1964 and 2022. Nothing happening, or no time to write?
1985
The kitchen looks gorgeous. The new school year looks… Menacing. It's my last year before tenure, so year to get things accomplished. Like what?
(Here follows a page long list of things to do. Research, writing, talks, work in the collection, and what I call garbage/spinach. “Plus all the usual nonsense”.)
This year kiddo will be in school 830 to 5 on Monday and Friday 830 to 330 Tuesday through Thursday. Now that's a normal work week. I worry sometimes about whether this has an effect on her. Or if my being at home would have a different (better) effect. On the one hand, I cherish her attachment to me. I want her to love me, of course. I feel bad when I have to leave her. Even if she enjoys herself, even if she's safe and well cared for. The guilt is there. Oh, yes. Parenthood is also about discovering one's capacity for guilt. Mine is enormous.
1996, just a couple of days late:
2014 (First year at Star Island)
Last night I was asleep before 8:30. I woke up around 6:30. Each morning has been different. This morning I ended up in conversation with a woman who is the archivist at Andover. We talking about research, and writing, and American Studies, and drag. After a short breakfast (I deliberately picked a table with few people) I happened to run into people who were replacing seats on the rockers and other chairs. Before I really thought about it, I had learned how and was caning the back of a porch rocker. A morning of bliss. Best meditation ever.
After lunch, I finished my chair and started a new one. My left pointer finger was wounded in the process, but I’ll live. I had a craniosacral session with a physical therapist which was pleasant but not mind-blowing. Tomorrow is Lobster Night, and who knows what else? Perhaps setting an intention before I start working on a chair would be a good plan. I am halfway through my week, which makes me sad. Classes start next week - a week from tomorrow. I am wonderfully ready. This week at Star has been magical. More than I had hoped.
Comment 2024
I went back to Star many times after that as part of a “chair crew”. It’s been harder since COVID, and I miss it.
2023
Late August. Only three entries between 1964 and 2022. Nothing happening, or no time to write?
2024
I have spent the most marvelous weekend inhabiting two marvelous books and one film. I finished The Invention of Hugo Cabret, started Whoopi Goldberg’s Bits and Pieces and just now watched “Marcel the Shell with Shoes On”. Sometimes a couple of days of lovely food for the imagination is exactly what I need.