August 19
So what? The list of things I say “no” to continues to grow.
1966 (Connecticut)
Went to the lake with Marcia. She and J had to break up, so now she’s going with a kid from NYC. She acts the same with him as she did with J.
I found out that a bunch of kids got the yearbook cover color changed to green. Yech. But I don’t think they can do it. (Hope, hope, hope.)
Everybody’s changed.
Bob
Marcia
Me
(Heck!)
Comment 2023
And with that, my Mexican adventure ended. The next entry isn’t until Dec. 11, and by then I had stopped writing to Juan. (Unless you count the “dear Juan” letter I sent in 1968, after I met Jim.) I’ve stalked him on Google, and his life seems to have turned out fine. He also became a professor, and has written much, much more than I have. Haven’t tracked down his brother Raul. Yet.
1981
My exercise and diet regimen now has a focus: getting in shape for pregnancy and childbirth. I feel like I’m in training for an athletic event. (I guess I sort of am.) I wish I were pregnant now. The schedule is so tight. If we score a hit soon, my due date is late May/early June. The next window is late June/early July. After that, I don’t know. I will want some recovery time before my contract starts in mid-August.
Comment 2023
Both of my kids were “planned” to arrive at the end of semesters. (How many teachers do that? Lots, I’ll bet.) Because the Universe has a sense of humor, they both arrived early.
1985
Actually, I am feeling pretty good. There’s been very little discomfort from the surgery. I still worry about whether or not I can have another child. Right now I am on a forced “vacation”, just resting and reading. I’m not going back to work until next Wednesday.
I really want to get some kind of cleaning routine established this fall. I’ve let the house go to hell this summer - absolutely on purpose, I might add. Item one is getting Jim more involved in the housework. Right now he irons his own shirts, does the groceries, and half the meals and dishwashing. I do laundry, tidying and half the meals and dishwashing, plus plan the meals. We don’t do anything else. What an admission!
Comment 2023
Jim does the groceries, the laundry and loading and unloading the dishwasher. We both iron now and then. I do the bed linens and towels and the dusting. We both do some cooking, but not much. Other cleaning when we notice it, or about a week or so later.
1996
We are in Connecticut for Jim’s mother’s funeral. She died Thursday (8/13) after a long decline with dementia and a short bout with pneumonia. The service was beautiful and moving, emphasizing her vigorous and beautiful years before that terrible disease took control. Now for John and Leslie life will really change. Their children are grown and the youngest graduated from college four years ago, but that time has been filled up with caring for Grace. I wonder what lies ahead for me, living so close to Mom. It’s frightening to think, wondering what will happen.
Kiddo 1 felt bad for not crying before, but I think the service helped her bring her feelings to the surface. She is so much more mature that I was at fifteen, so much more insightful and capable.
And Kiddo 2 was - - dare I say it - - such a little man. When he saw me crying, he would squeeze my hand or pat my shoulder. He said later, “The funeral that will make me cry the most will be Grandma’s, because I know her best.” So I know his mind was working hard on the whole experience.
2022
Welcome to ragweed season!
2023
Since I am working ahead in my journals, I know that I am about to enter the end-of August hamster wheel, when the only thing on my mind was getting ready for the first day of classes. In retrospect, the sameness of those late August days is astonishing. Despite all the changes in my life, despite being in different departments, in different administrative jobs, teaching different courses, I was writing about the same things year after year after year.
That leaves me with my friend Rudi’s classic question:
“So what?”
2024
I have a book review due in 11 days. I did not enjoy reading the book. I will never say “yes” to writing a book review again. The list of things I say “no” to continues to grow.
Buttons?