August 14

All life is knitting.

1965 (Camp Maria Pratt, Connecticut)

The last day. Today I say goodbye to Chris,Debbie, "Bubbles", Betty, Karen, and many more. I hope they're not my last campers.

1966 (Laredo, TX)

Good morning again. Got up, showered. Went across into Mexico, where I bought a pair of sandals. Mailed two letters. One to Juan and one to my family. I hope Juan writes back.

Had a cookout at the Gutierrez house (friends of Mr and Mrs D.)

All I want is:

1^st choice: to be with Juan

2^nd choice: to be home

1977

I aced Chemistry. I think I had about a 94-95 average. Now I have two or three days “off” before I go to Purdue for the Omicron Nu Conclave. (“Off” is in quotes because I still have lots to do…planning TEXT 221 is high on the list.) It would be nice if I were writing my dissertation two years from now. How to tell *what* I will be doing then? (If today is any indication, I’ll probably be sweating!) Marley is getting older. I should say “finally”, but that’s not how I feel. That’s how I thought I would feel, after she grew up. But suddenly there’s a foreshadowing of old age and death. That’s how I feel, too. I am aware of my body changing. The only compensation is that my mind seems to be improving as my body starts to go. Not a bad trade-off, really. You can’t spend your life posing for the mirror. Maybe I will be able to think Great Thoughts someday, after all.

Comment 2023 

“as my body starts to go”. Where was it going in 1977??? YOU ARE 28 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!

1988

As always, life continues to be busy. My days go like this:

6:30 - Kiddo 2 wakes up, usually wants a bottle and a cuddle in our bed or on the sofa downstairs

7:00 or thereabouts - Kiddo 1 gets up. Comes down and flops on the sofa to wake up.

7-8:15 breakfast, getting kids dressed, lunches packed, etc.

8:15-8:45 drive Kiddo 1 to Gym ’n Swim, Kiddo 2 to sitter

9-12 write, write, write. Eat a quick lunch.

12-3:15 go into department, do non-writing stuff

3:15-4 pick up Kiddos

4-6 get dinner ready, look at the paper and the mail, relax if time

6-8 eat, play with Kiddos

8 Kiddo 2 to bed

8:30 Kiddo 1 to bed, slowly

9-10 read, watch TV, then bed

Now I’m getting ready to move into school mode and out of vacation mode. First chore is getting the house in some kind of order, from the top down. Today (and probably tomorrow) I’ll do the upstairs, digging through the piles and reattributing them to their proper places. Kiddo 1’s room and the office are the worst. Both filled with THINGS and Kiddo’s stuff is mostly little itty bitty things.

Next weekend I’ll tackle the downstairs. Then it can tumble down hill until after Christmas. 

What a life.

Comment 2023

Makes me tired just reading it.

1995

Time does fly. This has been an incredibly busy, stressful summer. Yes, Jim will be out of works of September. And a few days after I wrote the last entry, Kiddo 1 broke both arms near the wrist falling off her bicycle. We then hosted a French exchange student, which was great fun but took more effort than I expected. I have actually gotten a fair piece of work done - - that’s not the problem. I am just feeling stressed out, to the max.

This past weekend I took the Girl Scouts to Busch Gardens, and we got back to rush around returning a rental car, pick up the Toyota at the shop, and then get Kiddo to violin lessons and me to a Service Unit meeting. Then home to deal with emails and pack to go visit Connie and Jack. No, I am not kidding. But if I stay here, I will get a bit more work done, but not escape the stress.

Comment 2023

There was no escape from stress, not that year.

1997

It is times like these that I realize what an absolutely thankless task parenting is. Everything I do either backfires or is resented. Feeling foolish and stupid.

2002

Quite a good day yesterday. I got a whole bunch of student evaluations done, and enjoyed it. The good ones are definitely easier to write than the bad ones. I also had a chance to sit down and think of my five-year plan.

I am contemplating changing my commitment to College Park Scholars next year. There are things I want to do and Scholars really isn’t giving me the time. I need to work out all the options and details before I discuss this with anyone. 

It makes me sad that summer is ending. It has been a very good summer, with time to travel, read, plan, garden, cook, relax and write. 

2008

It’s been a good summer, overall. I have done nearly everything I needed to do to close the lid on old projects. I’ve been able to do a small amount of work on the book. It mildly freaks me out that I actually have a contract and really do need to write it, at last. I am bubbling over with ideas and words. I imagine myself rising every day and writing or going somewhere to do research. I imagine being immersed in the project, maybe even getting it done before the deadline. In six months. In a month. In my sleep tonight. It’s not the first time I’ve had these fantasies. 

2013

I feel like I am on the right path in so many ways. My daily life is on track, I enjoy my breaks socializing with friends. I sleep well. The books moving smoothly, and I am feeling clearer and more confident about it. I am even sewing again.

Classes start three weeks from tomorrow, and I will make it. No problem!

Comment 2023

This was the last entry for 2013. (Until March 22, 2014, in fact.) That’s quite a gap!

2015 (Star Island, NH)

Reading: The Symbolic Species, by Terrence Deacon.

What biological factors predispose us to notice (or create) categories and place ourselves in them? How do other animals recognize life stages? Which came first? Gender or language?

Much as I had hoped the various thread of gender and age would connect, they have not so far. Maybe “entangled” makes more sense.

I don’t think I did quite enough alone time at Star Island this week. I missed chair caning. The people I enjoyed meeting will probably not comeback to IRAS next year, since the theme is so different. I would rather come for something more low-key, contemplative.

I wish I would take a picture of the air here, especially the softness of it, cool as it ruffles my hair

2016

I am torn. My attention is torn between writing and chatting with friends online. I am torn between getting my weekly review done and working on my book proposal. I think my main reason for wanting to write the proposal is because there is an index card sitting in my 8/14 file reminding me that I wanted the proposal done by 9/2. Not sure if that is even possible.

The main problem is that I am re-thinking the pieces of the story. It is becoming less historical, and more current again. I think I need to sketch it. Maybe things will quiet day soon. Besides, next week I will be on Star Island.

I think a weekly review and planning session is in order.

2017

My thoughts about retirement are jelling a bit more. I currently have three areas of effort/focus:

1. Establishing new spiritual habits 

2. Identifying one major project to work on. Just one!

3. Devoting some time regularly to play/exploration/fun

I do believe that once I untangle the messy book project, the personal habits stuff will fall into place. At least, I hope so.

Comment 2023

It eventually got untangled, knitted up again, ripped out and turned into a different project. All life is knitting.

2022 (New York; the BIG APPLE!)

Carol is working. I went to the 11 AM service at the Church of the Transfiguration (Episcopalian) and had a thoughtful time. Good choices of hymns with excellent alto parts; much appreciated. Grab and go lunch from Le Pain Quotidien. Off to Broadway to see “Strange Loop”. BRILLIANT!! Then dinner at Becco (Lydia B!). 

2023

Oh, the Horror! I have finished all my knitting works in progress.

Mitts, cowl, ear warmer. All stash busters.

This means I could:

• Start three new knitting projects and think about my other writing project while I knit.

• Start two new knitting projects and work on my other writing project an hour a day.

• Start one are knitting project and work on my other writing project two hours a day.

(Not starting any new knitting projects is not an option.)

2024

Finally finished the book I am supposed to be reviewing. Another thing I will never, ever say “yes” to.