April 11

The sun may not shine today, but I am sparkling!

1965

The last week - ho ho ho!

Report cards Wednesday, too.

Why do I fool myself? V doesn't like me, no one likes me - why, sometimes I don't even like myself.

What's wrong with this world? A girl has to be beautiful but dumb to get anywhere. And I don't chase boys - just boy.

1973

So here I am, the trip for Poughkeepsie. I feel a little lonely already, but it’s nice to be a single instead of half of a pair for a change. There’s so much flooding around here - - we seem to be riding through a 1/2 submerged forest.

Traveling is a bit of a bore. I could get tired of being mystery lady. Trains are odd. You get to see mostly asses of towns, asses of houses.

Wouldn’t it be strange to be on a train, riding into -say - Amsterdam , NY - only have it suddenly be like a WWII film - everything burning and desserted?  For no reason at all.

“Butt-numbing drama”

That’s a good line - well, it’s dark now and I can’t even see - oh, fuck.  Can’t write on the left side of the page.. can’t even see the house asses and town asses. I imagine I’m zipping down the Hudson now … no lights. If I look really hard there are trees.

Bunch of nerds got on in Albany … wonder if they’re low grade politicians who can’t afford to fly. Sideburns…trimmed, of course. Coffee. What, no cocktails? There is a bar. ($1.35/shot… too much for a low grade political nerd.) Guy next to me wondering what the hell I’m up to..MYSTERY WOMAN TIME!!!

Mystery Bear?

Comment 2023

For the next week or so, I will be transcribing the trip I took with my mother forty years ago. (!!!!) She was fifty-one, and I was not quite twenty-four. The last few years had been tough on us, as we argued over my relationship with Jim. I felt a little guilty, accepting this expensive trip. I really wanted to see my grandparents and other relatives, some for the first time since I was very little. It turned out to be quite a trip.

Explanations:

On my trips home from Syracuse, I used to play “mystery lady”. I would pick a book to read, or  more accurately, to pretend to read. It would have a provocative title or cover, clearly visible to anyone near me. I would periodically put the book down, take out a notebook and pen, and very ostentatiously take notes “like an intellectual”. I’d pause and look thoughtful, which in fact I was writing stuff like “Trains are odd. You get to see mostly asses of towns, asses of houses.”

Bear = my college nickname. Barraclough->Bear

1997

I am feeling virtuous today. I got up 1/2 hour earlier and had time to work out. Since they are serving breakfast at this meeting today, I only had juice and an apple. I am wearing comfortable clothes knowing I have to spend the day in a meeting. The sun may not shine today, but I am sparkling!

Comment 2024

You sure are.

2003

I am leaning on my desk in Holzapfel with both elbows. There is plenty of room for a change. I just spent hours filing and culling, the am very pleased with the results!! I can now take a couple of minutes to relax before heading across campus for my next meeting. I am SUCH a good girl.

2024

And so ends my 2002-2003 notebook. Little by little, the pile is shrinking. Yesterday’s accomplishments: transcribing and posting April 10, a little neighborly tech support, some knitting, a nap, too many emails, then an Argentinian crime thriller, Nueve Reinas. I did not spend enough time on my “Crafting the Simple Life” workshop for this weekend. There’s some real irony there.

Also - just for Bob:

Cherubs, ca 1955